How's my parenting?

Something happened this week that really made me stop, think, and reevaluate myself.  I was feeling a little down in the dumps because I'm not some super successful lawyer or doctor. I don't have fabulous stories from my twenties. I'm a mom. Nothing special or fancy on top-just laundry folding, dinner making, sew this, find that, mom. But I think that if my family is going to be my life's work, then I need to be the best (for my family) that I can be.  Frankly, I feel like I was born to be a mom. And let's face it, I'm not like a regular mom, I'm like a cool mom. [Daily mean Girls reference? CHECK!]

Some days, I feel like I'm crushing this mom thing, and then things like this happen. One of my offspring said the F word. You know which one I'm talking about, too. The one Ralphie got his mouth washed out for. Mmmhmmm. THAT one. I was flabbergasted. My blood boiled. I was so angry, and hurt, and disappointed, and every other negative emotion that you can think of, and I didn't even hear the word. It was said at school to a friend during a 'game'. Honestly, I don't really understand what happened, but I know it was said. At least she was honest--10 points for Gryffyndor.

The thing that got me was that this is exactly the type of thing I tsk tsk tsk and shake my head about when I hear other kids do it. I hear the teenagers, as soon as they leave their parent's sight, saying all sorts of awful things that makes me want to tattle on them like I'm a four year old. I hear them saying things (that make me blush) about their boyfriends or girlfriends, and I think how angry and betrayed and embarrassed their parents would feel if they heard how their kids spoke when they weren't around. But I take comfort in the fact that I don't use that language around my kids. I console myself with the thought that they know right from wrong, they aren't ones to let people pressure them, and they are (mostly) pretty darn great kids.

But when this happened it felt like that foundation I built my trust and complacency on was shattered. Maybe I do need to be more strict. Maybe I should shelter them more and follow them to school and be more like those 'regular' moms. Maybe I'm just not doing enough somehow. Not a great feeling, my friends. I know every parent goes through this at some point. I also know that in the grand scheme of life, one little curse word is just a drop in the bucket. But I freaked at the thought that this was so easy for her to be swayed into wrong. All it took was a little pressure from her "friends" and she caved. So this time it was cursing, maybe next time is drugs or alcohol. My mind races, people.

Josh had to calm me and try and reason with me. He said "this just goes to show, you can only do so much." Maybe he's right, maybe you can only lead the horse to water and hope that it makes the right decision to drink. Maybe you can only set the example as best as you can, and put your trust in your child and in God that they won't be led astray.

But just to be safe, I'm gonna go ahead and finish one of these bumper stickers for each child....